The reason for my prayers? Bad art…truly bad, bad art; compounded by the inability to escape the crowded theater.

I – a lover of all things artistic and an artist myself -  found myself sitting in the jewel box Teatro Municipal Santiago this last December for a world premier production that I’m certain had Arnold Schoenberg’s bones restless in their grave.

Advertised as a concert, COTH, was more performance art…the kind of performance art that results from two or three really talented – disparately talented –artists sitting around a chipped Formica table  in a sweltering 6^th floor walkup smoking too much dope and consuming too much KFC. Unemployed artists trying too hard to come up with a unique idea that will utilize and showcase each of their talents…think Ishtar or Heaven’s Gate.

I imagine their smoke-induced conversation…

Artist 1 “I’ve got these four Lipizzaner-type horses that are really talented- they can dance and play dead and they don’t mind if I dress up as a giant mordant butterfly and ride them around and around and around and around and around in circles in really dim lighting.”

Artist 2 “I’ve got this really great yogic body that with a very small, tight thong (and a can of silver spray paint)will really show off my ass…oh, and I can move very, very, very slowly.”

Artist 3 “I love Alan Berg and I’ve got a box of crickets.”

And yes, I paid money for this –along with several hundred others.  I don’t know if the robust applause at the conclusion was just for that – the conclusion, or perhaps they actually saw the Emperor’s new clothes.

There have been a few times in my ‘cultural arts attendance’  past when I’ve wished for Scotty to energize me away from the scene of the crime, and I must be truthful in admitting they all share a theme – atonal noise, umm, excuse me, music.

My first “is this art?” experience came at the hands of Peter Sellars, the then newly appointed artistic director for the Los Angeles Opera. Known for his cutting edge, out of the box view of the world – this is the man who cast Amanda Plummer as Juliet at the LaJolla Playhouse- Sellars decided to take a bite of the Alan Berg oeuvre and Wozzeck came to the LA stage. Known for its harsh subject matter, ugly language, and interminable, unapproachable atonal score, Wozzeck – at the hands of Sellars, became even uglier as it was set in a third world Latin American guerilla camp with the cast tromping around in fatigues and army boots, against a backdrop of camo netting, and, I swear, the buzz of mosquitoes.  Although I was appalled by what was being presented on the stage, I was even more so by the audience.  In a textbook case of mass hallucination, Wozzeck and Sellars were embraced and adored. The opera wasn’t ‘bad’, it was ‘challenging’ and Sellars was seen as a genius.

The second experience came in the historic La Scala Opera House in Milan just two years ago. I’ve tried numerous times during my travels to Europe to attend a performance at La Scala, to no avail. Opera tickets are reserved out nearly two years, and my schedule doesn’t allow for such advanced planning. However, when I arrived in Milan with a friend,  I immediately checked the La Scala box office, and  quell surprise, there were tickets available to a non-opera performance that very night.  Disappointed that it wasn’t an opera, but joyous at the opportunity to participate in a live performance, I purchased the tickets. The house was packed, mostly tourists like us just wanting a chance to see the inside of this glorious building where Toscanini premiered the beautiful and haunting works of Puccini.

As the lights dimmed, the opening act – an a cappella quartet – walked to center stage and presented a beautiful selection of classic secular and religious songs in Latin and Italian. Their voices filled the house, rich and nuanced. So far, so good.

And then the main act. The lights came up on five men sitting in a semi-circle – a violin, a guitar, a cello, an upright bass and a viola. Ahh, chamber music…lovely. The crowd clapped their acceptance, and around us, scores of young people – students apparently – opened up what appeared to be scores. Wow, a world premier, this is going to be memorable! And so it was.

The five musicians began to beat up on their instruments. Strings were struck, tongues were clucked, the floor was stomped, and chairs were picked up and dropped. Sharps and flats were flung at each other and the beatings of the poor instruments continued for an hour. A brutal, ugly hour in which the students followed along in the score, quietly oohing and awing at the brilliant daring of the composer while Puccini, Verdi and Rossini wailed in the darkness. The saving grace for this evening was that both of us were able to find humor, albeit quietly, in the pretentious performance and the even more pretentious audience.  As we left La Scala, I looked at my friend (and to paraphrase past Supreme Court judge Potter Stewart) said, “I can’t define what is ‘bad art’, but I recognize it when I hear it.”

I’ve been here for twenty two days, Here being Patagonia- the Chilean side. I’ve come for the fishing and my fly rod has been wet for twenty one days (it sits on the porch) – twenty one days of buffeting wind and monsoon rains that have blown out the Yelcho River and turned the towering Andes into a sci-fi fairy land of a thousand waterfalls criss-crossed with vivid rain bows.

Although I’ve not actually gotten on the water, I have had several hours of dry land (ok, really wet land) casting practice with sinking line; and am learning  to tie my own flies.

Despite the rains, the clients who have come to Puma Fishing Lodge in these weeks have all departed most pleased with their experience. Traveling via the comfortable PUMAII across Lago Yelcho to Rio Futalafu, our last group of six caught on average 100 fish a day. Massive browns and feisty rainbows, most in the 6 -10# range, were the standard each day and everyone was successful.

A new group arrives today and I am doing last minute prep on the menus and packing food for the transfer from the lodge to the PUMAII for a five day cruise. Although my main responsibility is chef, our American guests have invited me to fish with them and our Montana guides have assured me that there is a big brown with lots of attitude just waiting for one of my newly tied flies.

Day 31 – Patagonia

Rain. Rain. And Rain. Oh, did I mention ‘rain’?

I have seen the sun all of two days and not complete days at that.

Gentle rain, wispy rain, curtains of rain, solid walls of rain. Cold rain.
Warm  rain. Vertical  rain. Horizontal rain. And when the wind gusts, rain that appears to travel right back up to the sky.  And I won’t begin to describe the winds…we’ll save that for another day.

I think I am over rain, but it is not quite over me yet, so I am running away for Christmas. Running north to Santiago. Beautiful, hot, dry Santiago. For a few days I will have the opportunity to complain about the heat and use my lip balm to counteract the arid mountain air.

Day 35-38 – Santiago

SUNSHINE! I feel like Snoopy doing a Happy Dance, chasing my tail in glee. The Ice Breaker wool, polypro and rain jacket are stashed away and the trekking skirt and cotton blouse are on-as well as the sunscreen.

Santiago is vibrant as Christmas approaches. Not quite the shopping insanity of Estatos Unidos, but the pressure is obviously building.

I have embraced the Latin dining schedule (which is a bit tough as I am very much a morning person), spending my days walking and exploring finally sitting down at 10pm for a leisurely dinner. Christmas Eve I treated myself to dinner at one of Santiago’s finer establishments – Baco - an evening of indulgence beginning with a sinful foie gras accompanied with a delightful Dry-Farmed Old Bush Vine Carignan 2010 (Maule, Chile). (Since California has now outlawed foie gras -and other states will most likely follow- I seem to have acquired a taste for it…and yes, I’ve also acquired the necessary guilt to enjoy it completely.) An unidentified baked local chevre came next atop some beautiful, seemingly just picked lechuga. The cheese was aromatic and  pungent with just enough rind chew to embrace the silky core. A classic cassoulet followed brimming with duck and sausage. My two hour dinner (now approaching 11:30pm) was topped off with a fresh berry zabaglione and restretto.  Strolling out into the balmy evening air amongst hundreds of others enjoying the coolness, I almost missed the rain…not!

Christmas Day will find me on a tour to Valparaiso and Vina del Mar on the coast…more sunshine and more suncreen! Merry Christmas.

By the time the first snow flies, the Horse will be securely tucked in for a long chilly sleep and Chef Kate will be off to her winter adventure – this year she heads to Patagonia

and some world-class dry fly fishing on the waters of Lago Yelcho  with the crew of Puma Fishing.  One of the most sought after fly fishing lodges in Chile, Puma Fishing has invited Kate to bring her culinary skills to their all ready well-respected kitchen for an exchange of ideas and dishes. And with only eight guests at the lodge at any given time, Puma Fishing owner, Steve Selway, has promised Kate plenty of time to perfect her roll cast on some monster rainbows and browns.

“It has been frustrating this year”, says Horse owner Kathleen Moon (aka Chef Kate). ” We’ve had a spectacular summer with guests from around the world – many coming here to fish our incredible waters in Swan Valley. So all summer long, I’m ‘talking’ fishing, but the Horse is a tough mistress and actually finding time to fish myself was near impossible. I’m going to make up for lost water time in Chile this winter, plus have a chance to learn a new cultural menu.”

It was a fishing guest visiting from France this summer that suggested Patagonia and Puma Fishing to Kathleen; a suggestion she quickly followed up on.

Guests planning on a NW Montana adventure next season are urged to include a day of guided fishing on one of the many trout-laden waterways near the Horse, including Swan River and the Blackfoot. The Horse recommends the guide services of Tom at Swan Mountain Outfitters and Jason at Bigfork Anglers and strongly suggests that a day on the river be reserved at the same time your stay at the Horse is booked.

As for Kate, she’s looking forward to that spine-tingling ‘zing’ when she hooks her first 20+ pounder on a dry dragon fly…don’t scoff! It could happen!

Take a leisurely drive down to Swan Lake and enjoy a delicious Mother’s Day Brunch celebrating all things great about our Moms. Join us on Sunday, May 12th (that is if Mom isn’t participating in the Spartan Game challenge at Flathead Lake Lodge!) from 9am to 1:30pm. Mom’s receive a complimentary glass of bubbly with there brunch selection.

And not to be outdone, on Sunday, June 16th, grab Dad and bring him to the Horse for a manly Father’s Day brunch guaranteed to satiate even the most wolfish appetite. From our famous Huckleberry Peach Pancakes to Angus Rib Eye and Eggs (and several other dishes), Dad is sure to be satisfied. And of course, Dad gets a glass of the bubbly as well.

Reservations are a must for these two special days. 406-886-2080 or email us at laughinghorselodge@gmail.com

The third year of the Horse’s popular chef’s table event – Tantalizing Tuesdays – was another sell-out success with culinary visits to regions of Tunisia, Bavaria and Burma, and even Montana with our Taste of the Wild. The challenge of distilling a culture’s entire culinary identity into 6 signature dishes fell into the capable hands of sous chef, Kyle Dean, previously of Kandahar Lodge.

Working closely with Chef Kathleen, Dean met the challenge  each Tuesday- sometimes easily, and sometimes not – as when the Columbia River Sturgeon failed to arrive hours before dinner and a scramble to local fish mongers secured halibut – delivered just minutes before guests arrived.

The food, albeit caringly prepared and beautifully presented by Dean and Moon, was only half of the bi-weekly foodie event. Working closely with Annie of Rocky Mountain Wine Distributors, Moon selected 5 wines each week to accompany the dishes. Although mostly obscure vintages (Moon requires that wines presented cannot be found at you local grocers or at CostCo) the wines selected represented some of the most delicious representations of their particular terroirs.  Two truly memorable pours included Chris Gorman‘s Zachary’s Ladder out of Washington State , and  Domaine Saint Nicolet Cotes de Rhone from France.

2013′s Tantalizing Tuesdays begins with a visit to Santiago, Chile on June 25th.  Chef Kate will be cooking at an intimate fishing lodge in Patagonia for the winter season and is looking forward to bringing home some delicious new additions to the summer offerings at the Horse.  The balance of the Tuesday Chef’s Tables are:  July 9th – Naples Italy; July 23rd – Korean Peninsula; August 13th – Ethiopia; August 27th- Loire Valley and September 10th -  A Tantalizing Taste of Montana.

Each dinner will include 5 personally selected wines to compliment the dishes presented.

The tastings are limited to 32 foodies, and secured reservations are a must.  To secure your table, please call Kathleen at 406-886-2080, or email her at laughinghorselodge@gmail.com.  $139 per couple or $70 per person, and $45 for non-drinking designated drivers.

On Monday, October 1, Kathleen presents a 5 course Provence-inspired dinner at the home of Suzie Williams as part of the Festival of Flavors Chef series.

The festival is sponsored by the Flathead Valley Community College Foundation in support of scholarships and grants for deserving students. The week long event includes private chef’s tables, wine and beer tastings, and food workshops located around the Flathead Valley. 

As with her successful bi-weekly Chef’s Tables held each summer, Kathleen’s dinner for 12 will feature mostly organic, local provender and be paired with a selection of  wines.  The dinner is $125 per person with $75 tax deductible. To make reservations, call 756-3632 or visit www.fvcc.edu/festival.html.

The Menu:

A Taste of Provence

Fromage avec de la confiture de figues

Cambozola baked with gooseberry preserves and served with meringue walnuts and Mediterranean flatbread

Lavendar Poche Salade d’artichauts

Petite French purple artichokes poached in lavender served with grilled golden beets,

heirloom tomatoes and lavender infused champagne balsamic dressing

Pour: (suggest a Roussillon)

Alouette aux Figues et Noisettes

Armagnac roasted young quail stuffed with figs and hazelnuts

Tartelette au fromage de chèvre et poire

Pear & Goat Cheese Tart

The April issue of Montana Magazine featured The Horse in an article written by Sydne George. Titled “Seasonal Sensation”, George captured the true nature of the lodge and owner Kathleen Moon in words and photos that reflected the warmth and hospitality that for thirteen years has been the hallmark of this small Swan Lake lodge and bistro.

From the initial welcome by Nikki and Cooper, the two resident golden retrievers, to the morning ‘hello’ from Sampson the African Grey parrot, guests quickly understand that this is not a ‘motel as usual’ stay.

Currently celebrating a luxurious fall, the Horse is offering up a two night all-inclusive package featuring great wines and Chef Kate’s signature dishes from the kitchen. To discover this ‘seasonal sensation‘ before the late October closing, visit www.laughinghorselodge.com to learn more about the Fall Package and to make your reservations.

Although the second annual Montana Dragon Boat Festival is a year away, it isn’t too early to book your lodging and Laughing Horse Lodge is the perfect place to be for your race team and dragon boats. Located just 25 minutes from the race site at Flathead Lake Lodge, the Horse offers up economical yet award-winning hospitality and dining, with the added benefit of beautiful Swan Lake – a perfect practice lake for your team. Reserve your rooms individually or reserve the entire property for your team.

Our special Dragon Team Package includes: 5 nights lodging for up to 26 ( a combination of double occupancy, bunk room and cabin); early-out gourmet breakfast each morning; Welcome BBQ Dinner for your team on the first night; boat and trailer parking; boat launch and secure docking on Swan Lake for pre-event practice; and Farewell Dinner for your team on the last night.  Package price as low as $70 per person dependent upon total occupancy. For details, contact Kathleen at laughinghorselodge@gmail.com.

The Kalispell Chamber of Commerce, fresh off the incredible success of the recent Dragon Boat Races, is bringing the Spartan Race to Flathead Lake Lodge on May 11 & 12, 2013.  This outrageous (and very muddy) challenge of physical and mental prowess will pit some incredible examples of human engineering against the likes of …well…the likes of you and me. The two day event looks to be a fun way to spend a couple of days watching  fit (and not so fit) but definitely crazy folks pit themselves against a 4 mile obstacle course (including a very large hill) while carrying packs of rocks…just kidding, well only slightly.

For those racers visiting from out of the area, the Horse is offering up a Thursday – Saturday package of a three night stay with early-out gourmet breakfast each morning; a three course dinner with beer or wine upon arrival on Thursday evening; and a fun practice run on Friday up a local mountain (the Horse will provide packs and rocks if requested!). Races begin bright and early on Saturday and Sunday at Flathead Lake Lodge located only 25 minutes from the Horse.

Package 1:  Single occupancy in a queen room, three nights, three breakfasts, and welcome dinner – $155.  Package 2: Double occupancy in a queen room, six breakfasts, and two welcome dinners- $209. Package 3: Four singles in the Bunk Room, 12 breakfasts, four welcome dinners- $660 (or $55/person per day).

The Horse is located  in the village of Swan Lake, eighteen miles south of the host town of Bigfork. Extreme racers are invited to unwind and relax before and after the races while enjoying the award-winning hospitality (and hot showers!) of the Horse. To reserve your package, write to Kathleen at laughinghorselodge@gmail.com.

For some guests – those not my customers – the line was not blurred at all. They would not address me nor make eye contact; I was to them, just the hired help – invisible unless needed.  To be gracious, most of these folks were fairly new to the community, coming from metropolitan areas where class lines are more apparent and, I suspect, being held onto with renewed vigor as the ongoing recession brings those ‘with’ a little closer to those getting by ‘without’.

As the event matured and the provided banquet was rendered down to a few remaining (and wilting in the late afternoon heat) crudités, my catering attire was removed, the hair came down, and I became just another professionally dressed guest interested in the politics of the day.  Moving from one conversation cluster to another around the deck, I was now being introduced by friends to those very people who an hour before moved about me as if I were a cipher.

The handshakes; the eye contact; the ‘pleased to meet yous’ were all genuine, as were the brief but unmistakable contractions of the pupils and the slight furrowing of the brows that occur when one’s perspective of reality shifts.

This shift of perspective looms large among the reasons why I stay in such a small community when I obviously enjoy the activities and opportunities of big city life and exploring the lesser known areas of the world through my winter travels.  Although it wasn’t always so.

When I came here 13 years ago –  ‘dragged here kicking and screaming’ by my then partner who ‘just had to be in Montana!”- I justified the move with those trite and true plaudits of “clean air, clean water, open space, blah, blah, blah…”.  It has taken years and much growth to realize that although those might have been a few of the reasons for coming here, the reasons for staying are much more complicated because they revolve around the people more so than the place.

Thirteen years isn’t a very long time…a blink really, but for me it is a quarter of my life spent in one place. An unthinkable reality 14 years ago when a three year stint in an apartment or a job was considered long –term.  But as the years have moved inexorably onward I find myself caught up in the warp and weave of this tapestry that is the community of Bigfork extending defacto to Swan Lake.

The event on the river last summer offered up in a definitive moment what keeps me here – and in a word it is leveling.  This place has a strange power to level out society’s ‘haves’ and ‘have littles’ -or more accurately the ‘have differents”.

Like water seeking its own level, these folks that would not share anything in the big city, find themselves perhaps at first in some kind of commerce; whether it be firewood, water, grounds-keeping, boat maintenance, etc. But then both parties find themselves invited guests at a fete on the river; or dining next to each other at the Horse; or sharing elbow space and a beer at the Garden Bar.

I love introducing the retired multi-millionaire Republican building a 10,000 sq ft home on the lake to the Don’t Tread On Me man cutting firewood and living in a 600 sq ft cabin off the grid. Watching the interaction – first the commerce, perhaps of buying firewood, followed by the curiosity – of both parties. It is in this display of curiosity that the leveling begins as each begins to learn something of the other and to find respect for choices made, if not full agreement in the choices themselves. By making introductions and watching similar interactions over the years, I’ve learned that those that show no curiosity in the other generally don’t make it here, regardless of what side of the economic scale they are on.

Watching the transition of both sides – the leveling as it were – I can’t but marvel at how quickly we humans can adapt to shifting environments. And much like Darwin’s conclusions, those that won’t adapt simply disappear, or in the case of Bigfork, either put their property on the market and go back into the striated life from whence they came or truly disappear into the wilderness as self-sufficient as their explorer forbearers.

For those of us who stay, however, the rewards are incalculable.